January 2010
I think there comes a point when you’ve drank so much that the whole room just freezes and you look around feel like you’re being stared at for something you know they can’t see. Last night was a definate eye opener, because when everyone else was just a big blur, one person shone through for me and I have missed her so much. I guess I didn’t really speak to her before...
“Won’t go without my fix tonight
It’s a little too rough
Prom girl...”
– Lady GaGa - I Like It Rough
partayyyyy
have some fun this beat is sick
i wanna take a ride on your disco stick
New experience tonight, well at least something I haven’t done in a while. Getting ready to go out with the GIRLS for once. Yeah, GIRLS! Usually I’m just one of the boys, but not tonight. Ash is off to Trowbridge for beer and pool, and I’m off to a charity do in Paulton with the girls. Proper looking forward to it. And Ash is a fucking doll and has lent me some money so I can get...
I’m not asking for much.
I dont care if you pretend, just at least try to make me smile.
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Quiet night last night at the bar, Ash always works the easy shifts! Got bought a shot of apple sourz from some piss head who said I’m ‘likeable.’ Score!
Going out tonight to see my best friends Dad’s willy. I’m not kidding either.
Slow day today. Ash has gone to get his hair cut and I’m curled up in a ball in bed.
Can’t really eat anything without feeling really stupidly sick. Two mouthfuls of soup and my stomach is turning. Think I’m just gonna stick to lots of tea today.
Best post ever. Jamie T tickets and contact lenses. Bye bye speccy twat. Come on Wednesday…
“Under the cloak of darkness our fantasies come out to play. But when the sun...”
– Belle De Jour.
Awh I love how just a 2 words from an old friend is enough to make you feel like you’re not alone. I miss you too honey x
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My head hurts. Ash turned up where I was babysitting when I was about half way through 500 Days of Summer and halfway through a bottle of wine! The movie was actually incredible though, so beautifully shot. It’s a bad habit of mine to tune out what the actors are saying and just look at the picture infront of me - the framing, the soft focus, the composition between the two people on the...
win. g’bye.
worldsanddreams:
This is a thing of the past. I’ve accepted that this was a past-talent for me, I now have to discover what my current talent is, because it’s certainly not lying in the field of art. So I’m hanging up my pencils & paintbrush, not for good, but until I feel inspired again. Until then, I’m stuck in too much of a rut to even think about creating something beautiful. I’m sorry...
“So make your siren’s call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you...”
– Mumford and Sons ; The Cave
Sooo I’ve decided what I’m asking for my family for my birthday! (Yeah we dont really do surprises anymore…) I wanna get a compact camera, but I really have NO idea what to get. Do I stick with Canon?? Olympus are meant to be good for compacts… I have not got a clue where to start. Budget of £150 (max!)… Any ideas??
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Reasons why my boyfriend is better than yours:
He’s really fit. No really. I still look at him and go “DAYYYUUUM” and wonder why he chose me. We high five more than we kiss! Everything is worthy of a high five if it makes you feel good. Even after ‘the deed’ he rolls over and goes “HIGH FIVE!” He doesn’t take me seriously. If he thinks I’m...
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Cancer
The word we all hate. Hate so much. I’ve had my own run in with cancer when it took my Grandad 3 years ago.
A class of diseases in which a group of cells display uncontrolled growth (division beyond the normal limits), invasion (intrusion on and destruction of adjacent tissues), and sometimes metastasis (spread to other locations in the body via lymph or blood). These three malignant...
Got my eyes set on a flat smack bang in the centre of Norton. £450 a month. Staggering distance to le bar. Ahhhh. Not long now til we can actually do it! :)
“You don’t have to move, you don’t have to speak,
(lips for biting)...”
– All American Rejects
WANT:
Its ok, I can keep hoping :)
I’m caught up in this stupid obsession to be beautiful. No matter how many times Ash calls me beautiful, or gorgeous, I just don’t believe it. At least I’m doing it the right way though? Eating healthily, cutting down on the alchohol, and excercising. I’m just worried that when I start working I’m gonna binge again and ruin it all. My one motivation though is to be...
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I get to do some awesome things today.
1. Call the Job Centre and tell them to stick their JSA up their asses.
2. Fill out all the awesome forms for my new job
3. Contact Celsius in Bath and book a night out for my 19th with the family
4. Write my birthday list!!
5. Fall in love with my camera again. I convieniently had a dream all about what photos I should take so I’ve scribbled down...
I wish there was just ONE measley part of me that was photogenic. My set is gonna get a spanking tomorrow.
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“Bruised and bloody, I’m lying on the ground,
And I am aware that I let the poor...”
– Jamie T ; Emily’s Heart
I don’t understand how I can go through 5 years of teenage life in Midsomer Norton and barely be acknowledged in ‘that way’ but guys out and about, and then within 10 minutes of walking into a bar in Trowbridge with my boyfriend, I get this:
Guy: Do you believe in wishes?
Me: Yeah…
Guy: Fuck me I wish you were single.
This same dude bugged me all night until Jay told...
“So honestly, how could you say those things
when you know they don’t mean...”
– Taking Back Sunday ; Bike Scene
LETS DO THIS!
kardiogram:
ohsorosie:
I GOT THE JOB!
This means that I CAN ACTUALLY LIVE AGAIN. No longer will I sit at home waiting for Ash to get back, I can go to a cash point without having to get nervous!
Best of all it means, I CAN MOVE OUT. Me and Ash can put the past in the past and fucking DO THIS!!! WE’RE GONNA GET FISH!
Man today is a good day!!!! Got tattooed (fuck me it hurt), got a job, pub...
LETS DO THIS!
I GOT THE JOB!
This means that I CAN ACTUALLY LIVE AGAIN. No longer will I sit at home waiting for Ash to get back, I can go to a cash point without having to get nervous!
Best of all it means, I CAN MOVE OUT. Me and Ash can put the past in the past and fucking DO THIS!!! WE’RE GONNA GET FISH!
Man today is a good day!!!! Got tattooed (fuck me it hurt), got a job, pub later, then going...
Been looking at flats and houses for me and Ash to live in. It’s all SO close to being real. I seriously hope I get this job so bad. Brilliant money for one, and some wicked people there. Can’t wait to live with my boy ‘properly.’ Besides, we’d have the best house parties EVER.
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Dear immune system,
We’ve been together for a long time, and you’ve always treated me fairly well. We’ve had our off days and our fair share of arguments, but always made up in the end. So now, Im wondering what’s going on? I was ill just before Christmas, then again after new year, and you’ve for some reason turned against me again. What have I done to deserve it???...
Interview went okay I think.. I hope. Haven’t felt like picking up my camera today though, so lost about my next photo for my set. Ho humm. Feeling really down and ill.
This time last year I could have sworn that I’d never love another person, but the one I was with. And I think it just goes to show that things rarely turn out how you think they will. You lose the people who have always been by your side, but make room to let in new people, to start new traditions. August 24th 2009 was by far the most ridiculously beautiful day of the year - I’d...